


And It Continues

by Joanna_Kay



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Angst, Complete as of now, Gen, Grief, Pre-Season 2 finale, character introspection, kind of, only Ariel - Leanne mentioned, run aways
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28482999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joanna_Kay/pseuds/Joanna_Kay
Summary: Ariel visits a (not quite) forbidden place.
Kudos: 2





	And It Continues

**Author's Note:**

> This is adapted from an original snippet that I wrote quite a while ago, so my apologies if it is a bit choppy.
> 
> The original prompt was: "I'm sorry. I didn't know. He told me you were in the past."
> 
> It's unbeta'd, so any mistakes are my own. 
> 
> It is also my very first Code Black fic, posted in an effort to get back into writing for the New Year. I've been binge watching Code Black for the past two weeks - a season a week - and have been getting some ideas. This wasn't one of them, but the original that I found on my hard drive just seemed to scream April, with modifications, of course. I hope to begin writing on some of the other ideas I have soon!

It was dim as she crept into the room, a knot of tension curling in her belly. She knew it was silly, that the running water meant that Leanne was in the shower and there was no way she would be caught as she quietly opened the closed door and ventured into the forbidden inner sanctum. While it had never been pointed out as forbidden, when Leanne showed her around the house, this and another room stayed firmly closed and ignored, not even a comment on the name signs posted on white wood. Ariel wasn't stupid; she wasn't supposed to be here.

Silently, stealthily, she moved further in, pale eyes taking in brightly colored decorations that were beginning verge into the interests of a pre-teen girl, a few more baby-ish pursuits still scattered around. There were a few toys on the floor, a stuffed animal and a couple dolls; a pink tea-set tucked next to a pale wood bookcase filled with a variety of books. A few posters mixed with family photos on wall-papered walls. Dust-motes danced in the air currents of her disturbance, dust-laden curtains hanging heavy in the window.

“I'm sorry,” she whispered into the silence, speaking to the quiet room, the creaky house, the ghosts of the past that roamed the hallways. “I didn't know about you at first, not until I overheard someone at the hospital. I know, eavesdropping is a bad habit, but it's the best way to learn things. They were talking about the accident Leanne was in - how much she hurt, and why. Why they were surprised that Leanne took me in even for a night. Why they were surprised she let me stay.” She nibbled on her lower lip, a habit she had been trying to break.

“I'm sorry. I didn't try to take your place,” she murmured as she pulled in a shuddering breath. “I don't want your place,” she promised. “I was just hoping for a place of my own, and Leanne was there the last time I really felt safe and whole. She didn't treat me like a child, didn't talk down to me. I thought that maybe she could be that place.”

She had, as much as she talked about LA and Leanne just being a stop on her way, a convenient place to lay her head and pad her wallet. There were dark shadows in Leanne's eyes, though, shadows that seemed darker whenever Leanne looked her way. It made the teenager's stomach knot with anxiety, the breath catch in in her throat. It was only worse when Leanne's dark eyes clouded over completely and she looked at Ariel without seeing her, mind lost somewhere in the past.

“You're not really gone, Caitlin,” she whispered, one hand reaching out to the framed picture of a happy family, a younger Leanne, smile visible and dark eyes not as shadowed as the woman Ariel knew; a tall, thin man with a proud look on his face, one arm around his wife's shoulders; two smiling, happy children, one a girl with long dark hair and a boy with a gap-toothed smile. “You're still here, still loved. This is still your home... and there's no room for me here,” she admitted to herself, a thought that had been circling in her mind, ebbing and flowing ever since her eavesdropping yesterday. Truly, it was a thought that had been circling since the death of her father, as she was shuttled first to her aunt's and then to a group home and then a foster family... until she finally, finally gave up trying to fit in a place and decided to strike out on her own to make herself a place, taking to the streets and hitch-hiking in her search. 

Ariel was always nothing more than a reminder, a replacement, an imperfect 2.0 shifted into a place, sought out to try to fill a gap when an original disappeared.

She shook her head, taking a deep breath. She knew what she had to do for her own piece of mind, her own sanity. It wouldn't be easy, but nothing in her life had been so far and why should this be any different? Carefully, reverently, she pulled the frame from the wall and opened the back, pulling out the photograph and placing it between the pages of a tattered notebook.

“I can't live in your shadow.”

Turning, she left the room, shouldering her bag as she walked through the front door and not looking back at the brightly painted house that she had thought she could be happy in.

She left only memories of a few days that would be wiped all too soon and an empty frame lying face down on a dead girl's desk in a room that no one went in.

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback, kudos, and constructive criticism is welcome!


End file.
